After reading Mr. Alpert’s article I decided to offer Peter my help if he wanted to stop smoking. We were scheduled to me on Saturday, August 11, 2012, at a sports bar. My plan of action was uncomplicated; when Peter took his customary leave to smoke I would follow him outside and say what I had to say. I planned to speak to him about Mr. Alpert’s article. Peter would have to decide then and there if we were going to work on getting him off  cigarettes. Under no circumstances would I engage in a long drawn out conversation about the risks of smoking.

I left a  comment to Mr. Alpert’s post. Part of my comment discussed my strategy for talking to Peter about quitting. There were two replies to my comment. Both of the replies suggested that I not offer Peter a “take it or leave it option.” The authors suggested that I tread carefully to avoid a harsh reaction from Peter. It was argued that smokers often resist quitting and are sensitive to the suggestion that they should or must quit. In my opinion the replies to my comment offered sound advice. Still, I am not a smoking counselor other professional trained to aid people with quitting dependency habits. Peter and I have always dealt with each other in a direct and uncomplicated matter. I decided to be myself when talking with him.

This past Saturday Peter and I caught up to each other in front of a subway station exit. The minute Peter left the station he lit up a cigarette. In New York City smoking is prohibited in the subways as it is many parts of the city. I could not help noticing the sense of relief and calm that overcame him when he took his first drag.  He grinned from cheek to check and exclaimed “that he needed that,” referring to the cigarette. Nicotine which is the active ingredient in tobacco acts as a stimulant. I thought it odd that a stimulant would calm someone down. For a brief moment I considered not discussing quitting smoking with Peter. If smoking brought him such relief than maybe he should continue. I pushed that thought to back of my brain and decided to continue with my plan; it was ultimately Peter’s decision to make. I was only going to start the conversation and offer my help.

As we walked to the sports bar we did some window shopping. We often shop together for dress clothes. Peter searches the Internet and local newspapers looking for “two for one sales” and other discounts that we can share. Our shopping junkets have allowed us to build substantial wardrobes at a modest cost. We entered a men’s specialty store that appeared to offer the kind of sales and clothes that would interest us. The business attire selection was first-rate. When Peter entered the dressing room to try on a suit our salesperson commented in a hushed voice; “he must have a hell of dry cleaning bill trying to get the smoke out of his clothes.” I did not appreciate the comment and decided to take our business to another store.  When Peter exited the dressing room I suggested that we cut short our shopping because time was flying.

After having walked a few steps from the store, I asked Peter to wait a moment while I returned to the store. The salesperson must have told the store manager what he had said and my obvious displeasure with his comment. The manager immediately tried to smooth things over and offered to personally help Peter and me choose the right suit. He also offered us the Manager’s discount on some dress shirts. I thanked the manager for his offer and  told him that we would return to the store another day and that I considered the matter closed. As Peter and I walked along whiel the words of the sales clerk reverberated in my head. Though his opinion was unwelcome and not asked for, the salesperson was 100% right. My head fulled with thoughts about smoking.

I finally knew why Peter’s new clothes always seemed worn and faded within a few months after they were purchased. I remember having overheard Peter and his wife arguing because she was admonished at the job. The Senor Vice President had talked to her about smelling like an ashtray. She is employed by a Five Star hotel in a high level management position. I now knew that because of excessive dry cleaning Peter’s and his wife’s clothes became worn and faded before their time. I imagined the amount of time and money my friend was investing into trying to eliminate the cigarette odor from his clothes and surroundings.

Peter and I do a substantial amount of business together. We share clients and work as a team on certain business matters. If the salesperson was taken aback by Peter’s cigarette odor then our clients and customers must be aware of the cigarette odor. The anti-smoking policies, laws and campaigns have created a social stigma that negatively impacts smokers. Peter’s smoking is not only bad for his health it adversely effects his and our images. Why one of our business associates or contacts had not mentioned something about the cigarette odor left me thinking even more. Then and there I knew how to approach Peter about his smoking.

We arrived at the sports bar. After ordering our drinks and food Peter exited the establishment to smoke. A few minutes afterwards I followed him out. In a direct manner I suggested that he stop smoking. Within a minute or two I had given him my reasons as to why he should kick the habit. He graciously accepted the copy of Mr. Alpert’s article. I offered my assistance upon the condition that he decide then and there that he would quit. I concluded by saying that he and his wife deserved a better quality of life. I told him that if he did not want to quit for himself than he should quit for the women he has been married to for more than 20 years.

About ten minutes later Peter entered the restaurant and gave me a half-smoked cigarette. He exclaimed that he had decided to quit smoking. Peter promised to devise a plan and schedule for quitting. He told me to expect his e-mail on the subject in a few days. True to form Peter e-mailed me yesterday evening. His road map for quitting can easily be followed. His goal is to completely quit smoking by Thanksgiving. I am confident that he will accomplish his goal. I think that everything will work out just fine.